189. Examining Interdependence vs Individualism
How Individualism and Interdependence Show Up
Participating in modern society is interdependent by nature. None of us are fulfilling all of our physical and emotional needs alone.
But in the United States, individualism and exceptionalism are part of the dominant narrative of how we relate to success, failure, and each other. We struggle to acknowledge the external and circumstantial forces that help or hinder us to believe the myth of pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps.
Erica discusses how the winter holidays can be a useful illustration of how interdependence and individualism show up for us in school, work, and in our relationships and communities.
Listen on your favorite podcast player or keep reading to learn:Defining individualism and interdependence
How the holidays provide a foil for observing these paradigms in our lives
Three questions to help you define where and how individualism and interdependence are showing up for you
How the Holidays Illustrate Individualism and Interdependence
On The Pause on the Play® podcast, Erica Courdae (she/her) says that the holiday season in the US is a time when the juxtaposition of individualism and interdependence is really prominent.
Even for those who don’t celebrate the winter holidays, their influence over our work, school, and in our general culture impacts everyone. And it’s important to pause and consider our normal in these periods of time and where we might be participating in white supremacy culture and creating outcomes we don’t actually want.
Erica gives the dictionary definition of individualism as “the habit or principle of being independent and self-reliant.” In the United States, individualism is a major part of American exceptionalism and the “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” narrative. Individualism teaches that both our successes and failures are entirely our own, regardless of any external circumstances that helped or hindered us.
Erica says that individualism just doesn’t make sense, because “none of us are just by ourselves.”
Whereas interdependence, as the dictionary defines it, is “the dependence of two or more people or things on each other.”
Interdependence is “the understanding that I don’t do this on my own,” and whether we recognize or acknowledge it or not, in a society where we rely on others to build our houses, make our clothes, harvest or hunt our food, etc., we are all interdependent.
The holidays are a foil for the juxtaposition of individualism and interdependence because on the one hand, interdependence is “baked in” to the holidays via things like group celebrations, gift-giving, and charitable giving; but individualism also shows up in the ways we handle differences in religious and cultural choices and backgrounds.
This time of year can be “a chance for us to question how these two concepts…are showing up for and around you. How it is that it shows up in personal settings, in professional settings, in familial settings, or within your own states of thinking, feeling, and being?”
Consider what you believe you accomplished on your own, or where you’re seeking more interdependence and teamwork, and why the people you want to team up with maybe aren’t cooperating.
The holidays can make it easier to recognize the differences in mindset and approach because you are “literally witnessing whether or not people are in a space of ‘this is just me,’ or ‘hey, this is about all of us.’”
Three Simple Questions
Erica gives three simple questions to ask yourself as you’re evaluating where and how individualism and interdependence show up for you that you can use during the holidays and as a springboard as you’re planning for 2023.
Where do I take credit for the group?
Where can I play more of a role in the group?
Am I clear on my group?
The first question asks us to be clear on how we’re taking credit for the group, positively or negatively. The second asks us to examine and acknowledge where you can partner with others in a different way or a different capacity. And finally, clarify the groups and communities you’re interdependent with, whether it’s your household, your family, your co-workers, or even your neighborhood.
And Erica says these questions aren’t meant to be answered by yourself.
“It is meant to bring you closer to those that are around you. It is meant to remind you that interdependence is not about being dependent; it is about understanding that we are part of a unit and we’re helping one another.”
Ready to dive deeper?
Interdependence does not have to be cumbersome or heavy. In The Pause on the Play® Community, you can join us for Collaboration Speed Dating, our answer to traditional networking events where we connect the diverse membership of the community with people seeking guests and collaborators, to share opportunities with each other, and to support each other’s work.
These fun, fulfilling, and supportive events are just one way that we explore interdependence within the community. Join us for full access to events, conversations, Q&As, workshops, and our library of evergreen resources and replays.
Learn more at: pauseontheplay.com/community