Envisioning a Different Relationship to Time

Many of us are accustomed to viewing time as a resource we never seem to have enough of. The pace of our lives pushes us to constantly “make the most” of our time.

That pace has a profound impact on us physically, emotionally, and spiritually and prevents us from envisioning alternative relationships to time, where we prioritize rest, joy, and pleasure.

But other ways of relating to time, outside the colonial paradigm, are possible.

Ixchel Lunar and Erica discuss decolonizing time, relearning Indigenous cyclical time, and how to build a relationship with time where it is a friend, rather than a pressure.

Listen on your favorite podcast player or keep reading to learn:

• The four categories of colonial time

• How colonization and dominator culture separate people from place

• How to begin to build a friendship with time through prioritizing joy, pleasure, and connection to the natural world

• Why we have to accept the discomfort of liminal spaces as we journey toward decolonization

Exploring the Fabric of Time

Ixchel Lunar is a Decolonial Time Mender and first Mestize Vice-Mayor of Petaluma, CA. At a mighty 4’10”, they are a light-skinned, Indigenous, Queer, vision-impaired, neuro-emergent medicine carrier, and even ran for congress in 2011.

As the oldest (Gen Xer) of a vast mixed family, they learned to create belonging (and lots of spicy food) by weaving on-the-ground politics; deep training in ancestral ways of being and plant medicine; and exploring shared stories written in the fabric of Time.

After escaping the US, they learned perezoso medicine from sloths in the highland jungle of Nicaragua for 5+ years before returning to their ancestral land of Mexico.

Time in Dominator Culture

On the Pause on the Play® podcast, Ixchel Lunar (she/they/we) says that they are on a journey of “re-immigrating, rather than fleeing the United States…and just really feeling the sort of nuance of being an outsider and also feeling more like I belong to the place that I’m living.”

Erica says that a lot of people don’t pause to consider or pay attention to whether or not they’re integrated into where they are, or whether it feels like home in any way.

From the perspective of understanding relationship to place as part of a journey, Erica asks Ixchel about the concept of decolonizing time and how it might be related to that journey.

Ixchel says that growing up neurodivergent, they struggled with the concept of time that exists in dominator culture–they clarify that they use dominator culture and white supremacy culture synonymously.

“That struggle was about my perception of time feeling different than what the rest of the culture experienced and the pace and the rhythms that people went by.”

After leaving the US, they came to understand that the way time is characterized in the US was very different from what they were experiencing in Nicaragua, and that non-locals would often be frustrated by the locals’ not showing up “on time.”

“Some of what was happening with the locals was that they lived in a different relationship with time. But also what I came to observe was there was a resistance to colonial time.”

They divide colonial time into four categories. 

The first is stolen time. Stolen time, as explained by Dr. Brittney Cooper, refers to the time that has been stolen from BIPOC communities by dominator culture. Stolen time creates “a really important distinction around how people experience past, present, and future.”

The second category is “divided and perfected.” This is clock time and calendar time. Twenty-four hours, seven days a week, 365 days a year. This is time that is considered scientific, quantifiable, and visible.

In contrast, “what we really understand in Indigenous time is that time is relational. It’s in relationship to the cosmos and the planets and the natural systems, which can’t be perfected.”

The third category is time that is commodified, as in the connection of time and money and trading hours worked for dollars earned.

Finally, Ixchel shares Australian Indigenous thinker Tyson Yunkaporta’s concept of outsourcing time. This concept refers to the way humans use the earth and its natural resources, and how the way we overutilize them steals time from the earth itself.

“We’re outsourcing our future. We’re taking what is the future time of the planet and its existence.”

Decolonizing Time

In order to understand decolonization, Ixchel explains that colonization is fundamentally the separation of people, place, and land. 

“It’s really that taking people from their land, and the relationship that they have with land at its core. And decolonizing is a way of getting back in relationship with the land at its essential place, but also with other people, with time itself.”

They say that the Indigenous characterization of time is hyper local, so relearning Indigenous cyclical time requires us to get connected with and be in relationship with the land that we’re on and the cycles that land goes through.

“To really start to observe and connect and be aware of what’s happening around us within the natural world is a very different way of being for a lot of people in dominator culture. And it’s really the place where we can start to observe the characteristics of time where we are.”

They explain that the Mayan calendar is an example of a construct of time that follows the cycles and energies of its place and its relationship to the sun.

The calendar has two parts, one consisting of thirteen tones, or energetics that increase over thirteen days. Each group of thirteen days is called a Trecena. The other part gives characteristics to cycles of twenty days, that grouping is called the Uinal. Those characteristics are connected to animals, people, and ancestors that describe what time feels like on those days. These forms of timekeeping still exist in Mexico and Central America.

“You get this overall sense, this rhythmic pattern of what time is like within the Mayan communities…Time isn’t necessarily the same in central Mexico as it is in southern Guatemala…Those calendars are…shifted a little bit because of the way they’re describing time and their relationship to it in those locations.”

Erica says it’s interesting to witness how the paradigms we are taught about time and how we’re supposed to manage time within the colonial system is both inaccurate and discounts other possibilities.

“And it’s inaccurate because it’s not accurate for everyone in one very simple way. It’s not that simplified.”

She says even thinking in terms of seasons oversimplifies the local specifics of time and place.

“Everything that we’ve been taught is simplified, normalized, ‘this is what you do,’ is just about disconnecting us from being wherever we are in that moment.”

Ixchel agrees that colonial time supports dominator culture by normalizing and upholding institutions and systems. And the pace at which we’re expected to perform in dominator culture also supports colonial time and its systems and institutions.

But “being able to look at time differently, to start to see it in relationship, as an entity, as a friend, as a way of being and getting connected with our personal rhythms and pace, that is a resistance of dominator culture.”

Centering Joy, Pleasure, and Rest

Erica wonders where to begin when reconsidering a relationship with time that allows us to regard time as a friend rather than a pressure force or something we are trying to control.

Ixchal says that they typically encourage people to start to center pleasure and joy as a way of connecting with time as a friend.

“Being able to center joy and pleasure and rest and the things that fill us up at the beginning of our day, as much as possible, to sort of carve out and create some space for that to exist…starts to expand our time in a way that can help us become resilient to that ‘hurry sickness.’”

Erica says the term ‘hurry sickness’ resonates with her. “Everything is always based around ‘move faster,’ ‘do more quicker’…we know that we’re making ourselves sick.”

And the constant rushed pace of colonial time impacts us physically, mentally, and emotionally, and keeps us from being present in our lives.

Conversely, Erica mentions that the word, savor, came up in conversation for her recently when discussing slowing down and absorbing and enjoying experiences in all their layers and nuances. And she guesses it’s likely a struggle for most people to let go of the paradigm that they have to earn their enjoyment, rather than prioritizing pleasure and savoring.

Ixchel says it’s definitely a challenge for people when they are first working toward decolonizing time, and that’s why she starts there with people. 

“Once we can really start to savor the moments, to be present with time, with our lives, with our pace, with our rhythms, that’s when we start to see the expansion of time…When we can really put it first…then we’re really unlearning that commodification of time.”

They say we’re so indoctrinated into the puritanical work ethic that tells us that we have to work first, then we’re allowed to play or rest, and even then, the rest time is limited. 

“It’s sixteen hours of wakefulness, if it’s a weekend, that you get to have presence, and the rest of the time you give to your employer. It’s so harmful. And it’s not what we’re here for, you know, as human beings on this planet. There’s so much that can come out of that savoring and the relationships that we have with one another.”

When we are present in relationship with one another, it has significant impacts on our wellbeing, physically and emotionally.

To illustrate, Ixchal mentions that they were catching up with a friend recently, and during that hour-plus long conversation, their heart rate variability–a measure of the nervous system’s regulation–was equivalent to being at rest. 

“Being in relationship, being regulated, being connected with the world around us, is so restful and so good for our bodies and good for the world around us. And dominator culture doesn’t want that.”

Liminal Space

Erica asks Ixchel how the ways that they navigate engaging with time when they’re moving from physical place to place, as well as when they work with clients, has evolved as they’ve shifted toward decolonizing time.

Ixhcel says, “We have to acknowledge that it is a liminal space. That we are both existing in dominator culture and colonial time, and sort of making space for this new way of being.”

And that can be very challenging when we are so used to living with binaries. 

“We want to just be in this decolonized space, and that’s not how the world is at this moment. But we can all be doing this decolonizing, reconnecting, deepening our relationships to each other, to the land, and still exist within colonial time. There is a yes/and…that helps us get beyond that binary.”

They say that being uncomfortable is also part of the process, and we need to stay curious about that discomfort. And the process is ongoing and it may take generations for anyone to experience being completely decolonized.

“We can start to hold space for these new ways of being, and the old ways of being that were so essential to the resilience of BIPOC folk–we’re still here today, we didn’t get erased, we’re not letting that happen–and expanding that space for what can be, over time into the future.”

Connect with a Place

Ixchel says they encourage folks who are interested in decolonizing time to find a place wherever they are living, where they can regularly connect with the world outside. 

“Whether it’s a tiny little spot of land outside your door, a balcony, a park nearby, just find some place where you can start to establish that relationship with time in your location and observe what’s happening throughout the seasons.”

As you connect with the place, observe if there is “a shift in your being, a change in your pace, something that the land itself wants to share with you about the way of being.”

Ready to Dive Deeper?

Actions that create the impact you seek happen when you are in community, when you are in conversation with others, and you allow yourself to be open and willing to discuss what's possible. It’s not always easy, but it is necessary.

Having conversations where you are learning, unlearning, and relearning alongside your community are why The Pause on the Play® Community exists. 

And sometimes on your journey to Imperfect Allyship®, it’s also necessary to pause and take care of yourself. That’s why we offer resources like our Allyship Sound Bath Meditation to help rest and soothe your nervous system.

Resources like this and our whole library of evergreen replays and workshops are accessible on your schedule as part of your membership in The Pause on the Play® Community.

Learn more at pauseontheplay.com/community

Connect with Ixchel Lunar:

• Ixchel.Love

• Instagram: @ixchel.love