136. Why White Men Have The Power To Become Agents of Change with Andrew Horning
What is your role in shaping change?
It’s not always easy to have conversations about what needs to be changed, and the roles we consciously or unconsciously play in those changes.
But it is important to be aware of the role you can actively play, or choose to opt out of, when it comes to shifting our reality for equity.
Andrew Horning joins India and Erica to discuss why white men need to be agents of change, how he advocates for everyone to be contributors to change, and how to build emotional resilience when discomfort shows up.
In this article:
What it takes to be a change agent
Why white men resist change
How white people can use their voices to shape change
How to build resilience and stamina
Keep the dialogue going: Pause on the Play® the Community
This article is based on a Pause On The Play podcast episode called Why White Men Have The Power To Become Agents of Change with Andrew Horning
Meet Andrew Horning
Andrew Horning is a coach and teacher at the Hoffman Institute, an organization dedicated to transformative education, spiritual growth, and dimensional leadership for those seeking clarity in their personal and professional lives. As the creator and host of the podcast Elephant Talk, Andrew encourages couples to have courageous conversations for the sake of a deeper connection. He’s the co-host of The Hoffman Podcast, a keynote speaker, and a volunteer and former board chair for Intercambio Uniting Communities. Andrew earned his master’s degree in clinical social work from the University of Michigan and is a former licensed private-practice psychotherapist. He lives in Boulder, Colorado with his wife of nearly two decades and their two children.
Andrew’s professional life has been defined by engaging with change and personal growth and helping people achieve change and growth despite their struggles or distress.
Being an agent of change begins with your relationship with yourself.
Andrew says that in order to challenge the status quo and enact change, we have to get comfortable with our own emotional discomfort.
He says when people struggle with discomfort and fear, they will “reject [change] and rationalize the status quo and...not engage in the hard work of creating and fighting against the status quo that benefits so many of the people that look like me, but ends up hurting so many other people.”
India notes that the concept of comfortability with discomfort is a common thread in many of the conversations on the podcast and asks Andrew what he views as key to resilience with discomfort.
Andrew says there are two components of this kind of emotional resiliency.
First is courage. It takes courage, he says, to be willing to choose the discomfort and the moving outside of the familiar that being an agent of change requires.
Second is self-compassion. Growth “just doesn't thrive in an environment where people are judgmental, critical, harsh, perfectionistic towards themselves. We've got to be willing to fail, to get it wrong, to not say it right, to not do it right, to make a mistake.”
Necessary but less willing
Erica notes that our society has created an environment where white men are necessary for change to happen, but are frequently the most unwilling to engage in the process.
Andrew agrees and elaborates that many white men aren’t invested in change because, for them, power is a zero sum game. If others are allowed access to power, it means they have lost power.
“The white hoarding of wealth and power is about feeling threatened by the change that’s happening in the world.”
He says white men tend to over-identify with their roles as white and male, without even fully recognizing their entrenchment.
Whiteness has informed their identities, without their being conscious of it, “So to strip away whiteness, well, who am I? And that can be really scary for people.”
Confronting whiteness also means grappling with the shameful legacy of slavery and racism. “That's part of the reason we can't confront the issues like we need to, because we're afraid of the shame that is there waiting for us if we do.”
But, he says, there is so much to gain. “Stripping away whiteness and the ways that we have gained from the white supremacy culture that is entrenched in our culture is actually a freeing, empowering journey.”
But getting people there is difficult. India and Erica both note that so many people believe that if someone else wins, they lose, and that there is rarely a middle ground where everyone benefits.
India adds, “a lot of the conversation around doing things for the collective whole is leaving behind that you are a part of the collective whole. When everyone wins, you win too. You are a part of the world that we live in.”
Whiteness makes an impact
When white men do choose to actively become agents of change, they have the opportunity to make significant impacts.
“When white men stand up and use their voice for change, it is exponentially more powerful,” Andrew says, “And we’ve got to accept that role because our silence...is actually an incredible reinforcement of the status quo.”
Erica says she definitely picks up differences in how she is received when she works with an organization versus when the message is delivered by a white person or a white man.
But, she continues, a lot of changes do need to come from the people with the most power, who stand to benefit the least, with acknowledgment that change isn’t about what they lost, but about what everyone gains.
Similarly, India adds, it’s important for white people to amplify the messages of marginalized people in DEI and activist spaces because “the message on its own, when it’s not being shared by white people, many times will not land on the people that need to hear it.”
Andrew says this is a process that requires white people to interrogate the ways they have been conditioned around whiteness and the subtle and overt privileges they’ve been afforded so that they can then discern where and how they choose to use their voice.
Erica adds that this also requires attention to language and audience. Discussing your experience and the things you want to do in pursuit of change “is a very different job, so to speak, than to speak for a group of people that can speak for themselves and simply just need the opportunity to have a platform to do so.”
She agrees with Andrew that there is value in white people coming together to learn and reflect on whiteness and racism, but “there also has to be that point to where it is understood that this is a prerequisite. This is not the work.”
Andrew says there needs to be a balance. “If I go out into the world with unexamined understanding of me and my whiteness, I can do harm. But if also on the other end, I only make it about talking with people who look like me about what it means to be white, it’s all introspection and that’s not helpful at all.”
It’s a balance of unpacking our own identities and considering the realities of other people that requires stamina and emotional resilience.
Andrew says building that resilience and getting comfortable with being uncomfortable is a gradual practice. It could start with moving towards uncomfortable subjects in articles, news, or other media. Or it could be taking one action today that uses your platform and your voice.
“We don't need white saviors. We need white people who are engaged in the work willing to stand up and speak out and create allies and be an ally with those around us, one step at a time.”
Guest Contact and Bio:
Andrew Horning is a coach and teacher at the Hoffman Institute, an organization dedicated to transformative education, spiritual growth, and dimensional leadership for those seeking clarity in their personal and professional lives. As the creator and host of the podcast Elephant Talk, Andrew encourages couples to have courageous conversations for the sake of a deeper connection. He’s the co-host of The Hoffman Podcast, a keynote speaker, and a volunteer and former board chair for Intercambio Uniting Communities. Andrew earned his master’s degree in clinical social work from the University of Michigan and is a former licensed private-practice psychotherapist. He lives in Boulder, Colorado with his wife of nearly two decades and their two children.
Keep The Dialogue Going
It is essential to reconnect with the fact that you as an individual are a part of the collective whole of humankind. In Pause on the Play® the Community, we’re building emotional resilience and reconnecting with what is essential.