134. Leading From The Heart: Connecting Curiosity and Compassion with Audrey Cavenecia
There are plenty of examples out there of what not to do when it comes to leadership. But we need more highlights of people doing it well, and clarity on the benefits of good leadership, not just to the person leading, but to everyone around them who is impacted by their choices.
True embodied, valuable leadership that benefits everyone is proximity to it, is different than what so many of us are taught leadership should be.
If we say we value curiosity, compassion and empathy, how does that influence how we lead?
Audrey Cavenecia joins Erica and India to discuss leading from the heart with compassion and curiosity and what to do when we’re missing the mark.
In this article:
Why leadership doesn’t just apply to your career
How curiosity and compassion can shift the leadership paradigm of dominance and control
Why diversifying your company’s visuals is a simple but important part of DEI
Why we need love at work and in our leadership
Keep the dialogue going: Clarity on your values can give you perspective on the decisions you are making and why. The From Implicit to Explicit: Leading Through Your Values Masterclass is where you can assess if you are making the impact you desire to create, and how to course-correct if not.
Learn more at pauseontheplay.com/explicit
This article is based on a Pause On The Play podcast episode called Connecting Curiosity and Compassionate Leadership with Audrey Cavenecia
Meet Audrey Cavenecia
Audrey Cavenecia is the Chief Content Officer and Co-producer for Amplify Voices and the co-host alongside Pete Carroll for the Amplify Voices podcast. A talented storyteller and visionary systems thinker, Audrey has decades of experience in leadership development, entertainment production, and content marketing with a focus on championing humanity in all people. She believes stories are the most powerful tools we have to access change, growth, momentum, and compassion. Audrey was born in the San Francisco Bay Area and was a transplant to Seattle via Venice Beach. She enjoys her personal time with her three xoloitzcuintles and exchanging stories via Instagram DM with her son Christian. Not to mention her total obsession with her big-bold-all-natural hair.
Audrey says that growing up feeling like an outsider instilled in her the ability to deeply observe and examine others, which has become a superpower in her professional life and guides her sense of purpose and service in her work.
Leadership is about more than your career.
Audrey defines leadership as “the practice of being at the source of creation in your life.” She elaborates that this practice comes from developing an understanding of what patterns, reactions or habits stem from your past or from outside yourself, then being able to consciously decide what serves you or not.
When you understand that you are not at the source of a behavior or reaction pattern, you have the opportunity to create a new paradigm of your choosing.
In workplace leadership, this translates to leaders being given the opportunity to change the standards of behavior, to become the source of the standards, rather than inheriting an old paradigm.
Even prior to the dramatic shifts of 2020 and 2021, Audrey says large percentages of employees in surveys would report that their management lacked leadership training of any kind.
To create new modes of leadership as a practice of being at the source, Audrey says, “It’s really important...that we have this kind of day to day examination and slowing down of our behavior, of how we've been told leadership looks, how it feels, what it's supposed to do, what it means about you and others...so that we could really start to create this new era of what leadership is.”
Leading with Curiosity
Erica notes that much of Audrey’s practice of being at the source requires curiosity, about yourself, about the systems and standards you work with, and that curiosity is a trait that lends itself to learning and growth. She asks Audrey how that quality intersects with leadership.
Audrey answers “If you aren’t bringing curiosity and compassion to leadership, then you’re going to default into how things have been, which is...dominance and control.”
She says in the past, people who were louder, more controlling, who implemented top-down structures were rewarded with positions of leadership so long as they got results.
But with the social and cultural upheavals of the last several years, and more and more businesses expressing interest in diversifying their workplaces, “you can't just apply the regular, this is how you do it, this is how you hire people...No, you have to get curious because we've never been in a place where we've worked well and we've played well together. We've never been there.”
India comments that dominance and control influence even the language in business, in the way we use terms like authority.
When we’ve normalized expertise or authority as the only way to do things, “if we're not careful, is...a way of dominating other people, saying my way's the only way and really using it to control people.”
Audrey adds that not only is wielding expertise detrimental to other people, it can also be a trap for the so-called authority.
She believes that humility is also a key component of good leadership, and says that she’s experienced that kind of leadership in environments that surprised her.
She was “shocked to find that these powerful white men, at this level of what they were doing, were so kind and thoughtful and generous and humble. I only experienced the kind of mistreatment I did by people who were pretending to be leaders.”
She admits that as a woman of color, she struggled with the idea of bringing humility to her own leadership, but “humility makes you ask questions and it makes you listen to people differently...It securely locks you in that place of curiosity and compassion when you are.”
Erica says when someone at the top of the hierarchy is able to lead with consideration, compassion, curiosity and humility, and is “willing to take in the leadership and the knowledge and the support of someone that looks like us, then it is a possibility of being able to shift what they do with their platform and their privilege. And it can be an act of equity.”
Visual Stories Matter
When companies are trying to implement DEI initiatives or diversify their employees, Audrey says one of the least complicated things they can do is to start with their website.
She often sees companies making major financial investments in DEI or in gaining market share and they have 98% white people on their website.
That lack of representation in public and internal materials has an impact. “Not just to us that we're automatically like, oh, you're not considered, but it also does something internally to everybody else, because they don't have the opportunity to expand who they are to really be challenged.”
Audrey views leaning into uncertainty and trying new ways of operating as one of the most important challenges for leaders right now. But it doesn’t have to be complicated. “Just start to apply the missing components that were so long overlooked.”
She uses herself as an example. After examining her relationship with her hair, Audrey stopped straightening her hair and now “I make sure that I wear my hair this way in every possible bio picture or executive picture or video we’re shooting or anything, because I want this now to be in the narrative...to say, this is professional. This is what it looks like.”
Leading with Heart
Audrey ends emails to her team with, “I love you.” She believes in bringing love into the professional world and removing the stigma of love being mushy or soft.
“Love is powerful...It's a really amazing opportunity to find out the level of resilience of our heart.”
India adds that she’s been asking herself and others lately if they love the people they work with, whether it’s their team, their partners, sponsors, podcast guests, “it’s really challenging, and in my opinion, maybe even impossible to lead people if you’re not willing to love them.”
Audrey says that American culture and the American dream need examining “because we've lived in this lane of control and aggression and dominance for so long as a means to produce results. What if we tapped into other design abilities of a human being in causing and creating?”
India asks what one thing people can start doing to cultivate more compassionate leadership.
Audrey says the best thing to do is to ask yourself, “where am I not leading from my heart in my life?”
She says that even a two-minute check-in to be present and to unload the narratives and influences we’ve been surrounded by all day and ask yourself that question, will open you up.
“In order to be on the forefront of change, one has to surrender to the questions, one has to surrender to the uncertainty with the willingness to not have it be certain so quickly.”
“It's a great time to surrender to this next space that we're in and truly, truly ask yourself, where am I not leading from my heart?...It's a good time to shed those things and come out with fresh skin.”
Guest Contact and Bio:
Audrey Cavenecia is the Chief Content Officer and Co-producer for Amplify Voices and the co-host alongside Pete Carroll for the Amplify Voices podcast. A talented storyteller and visionary systems thinker, Audrey has decades of experience in leadership development, entertainment production, and content marketing with a focus on championing humanity in all people. She believes stories are the most powerful tools we have to access change, growth, momentum, and compassion. Audrey was born in the San Francisco Bay Area and was a transplant to Seattle via Venice Beach. She enjoys her personal time with her three xoloitzcuintles and exchanging stories via Instagram DM with her son Christian. Not to mention her total obsession with her big-bold-all-natural hair.
Unlikely Leadership podcast
Facebook: @audreycavenecia
Keep The Dialogue Going
Clarity on your values can give you perspective on the decisions you are making and why. The From Implicit to Explicit: Leading Through Your Values Masterclass is where you can assess if you are making the impact you desire to create, and how to course-correct if not.
Learn more at pauseontheplay.com/explicit