204. Capacity, Responsibility, and Community in Shifting Systems
The Toll of Shifting Systems
Doing the work of shifting systems toward equity and equality can take a massive toll physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
It’s easy to feel like you’re not doing enough when you’re working against systems that existed long before you. But it’s important to remember that it’s not your debt to pay.
Erica shares a reminder about the debts that we owe, and the importance of doing the work in community.
Listen on your favorite podcast player or keep reading to learn:
Why you can’t internalize the debts created by preexisting systems
Honoring both your capacity and responsibility as you do DEI work
Why community and interdependence are vital to paying the systems’ debts
The Debts That We Don’t Owe
On the Pause on the Play® podcast, Erica Courdae (she/her) says that while she was recently scrolling Instagram, she came across a post from Tabitha Brown that “was exactly what I needed and I didn’t even recognize it until I ended up in tears.”
Erica says that at the time she was feeling stressed, anxious, and depressed, that her appetite was off, she was having trouble sleeping, she was overthinking, “and it all went back to the fact that I was [in Brown’s words] trying to pay a debt that I don’t owe.”
She says that for people who are working to shift systems towards equity and equality, it’s important to remember that these systems predate them.
“Our humanity and our mental health and our wellness and the strength of our bodies–it’s up to be severely damaged because we are working to dismantle a system that existed before we became a part of it…This is not our debt. We didn’t create this mess…I am glad that we have taken on the responsibility to be a part of shifting it for the better, but…I cannot fully repay a debt that I don’t owe.”
She says that it’s important to acknowledge that we exist in a liminal space where there is work actively being done to dismantle and rebuild systems that we still have to actively take part in as a matter of survival.
But internalizing the debt as our own, “affects us physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally, in so many other ways that you will notice or that you’ll feel.”
It’s also important to recognize and honor your capacity, and how that limit can shift based on external factors, especially when you’re feeling like you’re not doing enough.
She says that she’s witnessed, “too many people beating themselves up because they feel like they didn’t do enough, when in reality they did what they could within the space that they could do anything.”
Especially when progress relies on others committing to the work as well. She says that for people in the DEI space, professionally or otherwise, “we cannot take on the burden as to whether or not the work that we do, the suggestions that we offer, the insight that we provide is actually implemented and put into play. Because we can’t control everything.”
Coming Together to Pay the Debt
What is possible is remaining committed to “our responsibility to be shifting it for the better. Those responsibilities are different depending on who you are and your access to privilege as well.
For her, “A chunk of my personal responsibility is to find joy. A chunk of my personal responsibility is to not overwork myself and run my ass into the ground.”
And different seasons of life can require different responsibilities. Erica has had periods of working at “an ungodly pace,” and periods of recovery and repair from the wear and tear of that.
“I am in a season of wanting to be a part of the change in a way that acknowledges that I didn’t create this, and yet I am willing to be a part of the fix. And this is not a debt that I can fully repay.”
And making these commitments and taking action isn’t something that is meant to be done alone.
“Interdependence is a counterbalance to the white supremacist trait of independence. That hyper-independence that lies to us all to tell us that we can do it all by ourselves. We don’t do anything by ourselves. We need one another…This is a part of how collectively we can gather the funds to pay this debt that we don’t owe individually…So much more can be done if we choose to work together and support one another.”
Ready to dive deeper?
None of us are meant to do this work alone. And not only should we not do it alone, we need to do it in community.
Inside of The Pause on the Play® Community is a space for interdependence and support as you navigate your Imperfect Ally® journey. The Community offers member discussion, workshops, resources, Q&As, and more to help you along the way, and so that you can witness others’ journeys as well.
Learn more at pauseontheplay.com/community