91. Self vs Community
Summary
A new year ushers in fresh opportunities to replace tired either/or thinking with a resounding both, and! Erica breaks down the what, why, and how of self vs community efforts and offers a more comprehensive, holistic approach for advancing your anti-racism practice.
Discussion includes:
Application of self vs collective concepts to diversity, equity, and inclusion work
Concurrent routes to lasting change
Decentering your actions
Recognizing DEI work as an ongoing, imperfect effort
Asking questions in a way that acknowledges your experiences or bias
After The Episode
Both, and! your DEI practice. Start today by becoming a Pause On The Play Community member
Episode Notes
Concepts And Context
Here’s a truth that’s often downplayed in a rush to “do all the things” related to diversity, equity, and inclusion work: desperation mixed with overcompensation leads to inaction. Resentment. Burnout. Lasting progress comes when participants first evaluate the lens through which they take action and, second, pull focus to examine their relationship to self versus community.
What does that even mean? Erica turns to astrology for a high-level perspective. You don’t need to follow or even ascribe to astrology to benefit from its insight - simply take what you need and leave whatever doesn’t resonate with you. For those with a deeper understanding of astrology, below is an oversimplification for purposes of this discussion:
Tropical Astrology - Focused more on self; me as an individual. How do things affect me? How do my actions have to show up?
Sidereal Astrology - Focused more on the collective. What's going on around me? How are my actions affecting the whole?
Astrology not doing it for you? No problem! The contrast between self versus community is one of perspective. Do you continue to apply binary either/or thinking to your DEI work or have you committed to a more holistic approach, one anchored by a resounding both, and!
In everyday life scenarios, focusing on either the individual or the collective only can have detrimental consequences on both sides. Here’s how that neglect can show up:
Self. Isolated, unsupported engagement with DEI work - and the discomfort that accompanies it - leads to painful feelings of shame around one’s late arrival to the movement. Resentment, too, toward individuals perceived as “not doing enough” may also arise, hindering a genuine personal relationship to anti-racism work.
Collective. A relentless push to advance equity in an entirely public manner - groups, workshops, protests - without equal space given to personal work and rest, can lead to burn-out. Worse, the ripple of one’s actions might purposefully or unintentionally cause waves of irreparable damage.
Concurrent Routes To Lasting Change
Imperfect allies squander precious momentum hopping from one side to the other. They must approach the work with both self and community in mind. Where do self and community intersect? Where do they happen concurrently? Some instances will remain subtle, while others are quite obvious.
Frenzied self-education or rush to make amends is unhelpful. For DEI actions to ring true, blunt questioning is in order: am I still making anti-racism work about me?
Self-centered reflection is generally easier to accomplish so long as you’re clear-eyed about calling yourself out on misguided efforts. Collective-centric movement requires acknowledging instances when overcompensation blocks you from fully addressing how those individual actions affect the whole. In either instance, failing to examine your motives could very well result in old patterns of programming rearing its ugly - and dangerous - head.
Wholly Imperfect Action
OK, so, hard questions and the uncomfortable answers that accompany them aren’t meant to stymy progress. Imperfect allyship goes hand in hand with imperfect action. Keep going. Keep doing your work. Keep showing up for the collective. Keep unpacking your implicit biases and individual programming. Keep acknowledging your efforts:
I am still a work in progress.
I don’t know it all.
I know enough to know that the way I have always done things doesn’t work for everyone, particularly those that don’t look, live, or live the same way I do.
Either/or thinking forces imperfect allies into the restrictions of perfectionism. Both, and allows them to explore different ways of existing in the world - and make mistakes as they gain perspective.
Asking Is The Answer
Apart from straight-up questions of is this racist or is this anti-racist, Erica advises imperfect allies to be sensitive of where situations have become too definitive, too either/or. When more nuanced issues split into distinct camps - this! or that! - it’s often because active considerations might expose uncomfortable truths. When you’re not 100% sure of how to proceed, ask questions:
How does my personal experience impact my view of the situation?
Am I missing something in this instance?
How will my action here affect the collective?
No one lens has the power to see all sides of every situation. That’s why incorporating both, and thinking is such a powerful tool in your DEI kit.
Erica acknowledges that vigilance can take a lot out of you. “When you realize that there are parts of you that can’t come for the ride anymore, it’s not always an easy process.” She reminds imperfect allies that they don’t have to deprogram alone. It’s beyond time to get to work for the collective, to create the change we ALL want to be a part of.
Quoted
ERICA COURDAE
“Anti-racism work, diversity, equity and inclusion as concepts that are the lens through which you do all things, it can very often be very polarizing and show up in the collective versus the individual.”
“This work is not work that is about just the self or just the collective; it is both, and. “
“As I watched people that were so desperate to make amends because they didn't know, and they felt like they were late to recognize the injustices that were happening right in front of them, right around them, that they would push almost to a desperate type of place - and it's not helpful.”
“It's also necessary to step back and say, am I still making this about me?”
“There has to be a place of saying...I know I don't know it all, and I know enough to know that the way that I have always done things doesn't work for everyone, particularly those that may not look, live, or love the way that I do.”
“When you realize that there are parts of you that can’t come for the ride anymore, it’s not always an easy process.”
“Let’s make sure that we’re paying attention to creating the change that we want to see, being a part of that, and not just having the pretty words about it.”