80. Representation Matters, Especially In Mental Health
Summary
Mental health still carries stigma in many communities across the U.S. It’s a conversation many aren’t comfortable having, therefore continuing the shame and silence around the topic.
People of color especially struggle to access necessary and adequate mental health and wellness support. Today, Erica and India are joined by therapist, Amenah Arman, to discuss why it’s so important to receive support from someone who looks like you.
In this episode they talk about:
Why mental health needs may be different for people of color,
The impacts of cultural homelessness,
How your identity is affected when viewing life through a trauma lens,
How stereotypes affect our willingness to seek counseling,
Things to consider when looking for a therapist.
Quoted
AMENAH ARMAN
“As a kid growing up I did find myself in that third space, that third culture trying to find a place of my own.”
“What would our identity look like if it weren’t pushed by surviving or trauma?”
“How can you take up space when it’s not something that’s ever been offered to you; it’s something you’ve had to demand?”
“I don’t think that marginalized communities can receive adequate healing from Euro-centric models of therapy.”
“It’s really important you actually like the person you’re speaking to.”
ERICA COURDAE
“When I think about cultural roots, there’s nothing for me that says this is what belongs to me and I know it’s not coming from a place of appropriation.”
“I don’t know what it would look like to be pushed by something other than being lesser than or not enough.”
“I’m highly aware of being too much and not enough at the same time.”
“Speaking up about wants and needs is not a privilege many of us grew up knowing we had access to.”
“In my opinion, empathy is severely underrated.”
INDIA JACKSON
“The term African-American, I didn’t really feel like I had African as part of my life. That doesn’t capture who I am.”
“If I had to ask myself what my identity would be, it would not be a country or a race. It’s a community I’ve built myself.”
“In order for someone to be able to support you, they have to see you.”
After the Episode
Visit Sane in the Membrane
Check out Therapy for Black Girls
Episode Notes
Amenah Arman is the founder of Sane in the Membrane; a wellness practice that addresses the mental health disparities of marginalized communities and artists. She identifies as a Muslim Palestinian American, and is passionate about providing culturally oriented modes of therapy to underserved communities in the U.S.
Her clinical areas of focus are the effects of cultural homelessness on Muslim Americans, identity development amongst biculturals, creativity and healing within racial and religious minority communities. Her therapeutic approach is holistic and she believes BIPOC healing can occur by utilizing the cultural healing methods of the community.
CULTURAL HOMELESSNESS
The collective trauma of 2020 has been very difficult—particularly for women of color—demanding dialogue around the need for healing.
For that reason it’s vital that resources are available that reflect the diversity of culture and experiences in our communities.
A cornerstone of Amenah’s work is focused on cultural homelessness. She defines this as bi-culturals and bi-racials—people who are seen as an outsider and don’t have one culture they can completely identify with.
Amenah shared her own identity as someone with both Eastern and Western values. She doesn’t have a core culture of her own. She was seen as an outsider and wasn’t fully accepted in her homeland. But in America she was also seen as “the other.”
Erica relates admitting that she doesn’t fully know her heritage, which makes it confusing on how to identify. She said she’s had to create her own culture because “Black” or “African American” doesn’t feel like it has roots.
She says when we think about cultural roots, there’s nothing for her that tells her that she belongs that isn’t coming from a place of appropriation.
IDENTITY THROUGH A TRAUMA LENS
The three talk about how people of color don’t think about thriving. They pose the hypothetical question: What would our identity look like if we weren’t pushed by surviving or trauma?
Moving through life this way, Amenah says, informs every part of your life, extending to relationship issues, low self-esteem, and depression.
When viewing life through a trauma lens, you’re not thinking about the decor that colors your life, you’re thinking about not dying today because you’re Black or Brown in America.
Erica admits that mental health has felt like a boutique item. If the option has never been given to you, you have no clue what you’ve been missing out on. How do you demand something when you’ve never been told that’s what you’re missing out on?
As a bi-cultural, you have to choose one piece of your identity to lead with. When you leave a piece of yourself out, it’s almost like you’re left as a scattered puzzle piece, not having a clue of what the puzzle could look like as a whole—you’ve only been defined in little pieces here and there.
Erica says that she’s used to qualifying her blackness. She says she’s highly aware of being too much and not enough at the same time. When putting “American” at the end of how you describe yourself (a la African American), the hyphenated existence alone can make someone feel othered.
India agrees saying that the term African-American didn’t ever feel like it fit because she never had anything African as part of her life. It didn’t capture who she is.
Amenah shares that she can fit into a lot of different cultures because her features are ambiguous. A lot of people choose her because they think she’s an African-American woman. They feel pulled toward someone who looks like a mirror for the way they move through the world.
India chimes in that if she had to ask herself what her identity would be, it would not be a country or a race—it would be the community she’s built herself.
MENTAL HEALTH FOR POC
Amenah asks Erica and India what the first thing they think of when they hear the word therapy. Their answer: white people problems!
Erica says that she grew up learning that you don’t go tell white people what’s wrong with you. You keep the dysfunction inside so you don’t become the stereotype. But keeping all of that inside until she became an adult was heavy.
India says that she never thought therapy was accessible to people of color, and certainly not facilitated by people of color. It was only for people who were experiencing schizophrenia or bipolar disorder.
Amenah shared that the word “crazy” in the Middle East means literally to be possessed. She learned you don’t talk about mental health—you just pray it out.
She then recognized it wasn’t just the stigma. She recognized the need to move beyond the excuse: “communities of color don’t talk about this.” While that is extremely important, what comes next is providing the services.
When she went through her training, she says that she often was categorized as the angry woman of color saying that the lessons didn’t apply to them. She felt the program was not addressing the needs of people who looked like her. The training simply would not apply to her people. So she decided to fill the gap.
Amenah does not believe marginalized communities can receive adequate healing from Euro-centric models of therapy. Yet, simply recognizing there are differences is not enough to begin healing.
Common responses from her clients who have seen other therapists include:
They just didn’t get me.
They didn’t see me.
I had to explain myself.
Erica recognizes that this requires them to pay for a space just to catch up. Amenah agrees and also shares that she states that her space should always be a space where you don’t have to perform or explain yourself.
WHAT TO CONSIDER WHEN SEEKING THERAPY
Amenah suggests Therapy for Black Girls as an amazing resource.
She also stresses that it’s really important you actually like the person you’re speaking to. There will be moments of discomfort, but it’s also a relationship and the relationship should be mutually understanding and mutually respectful.
Speaking up about our wants and needs is not a privilege many of us grew up knowing we had access to, she says. “Do I have a voice?” is where many women of color start out in therapy. The baseline is finding that voice.
In traditional modes of therapy the therapist is third party. You don’t receive anything other than nodding of the head and the therapist taking notes. From what Amenah’s seen, the self-disclosure has been the most healing part of most of her sessions. Knowing that she’s gone through something and how she got through it has been helpful for her clients.
Erica says that in her opinion empathy is severely underrated. She thinks it’s important to give people the permission to honor their experiences.
Amenah ends by saying, “You are deserving of healing. It is your innate right as a human being. Your life is your canvas. How do you want to color it?”