57. Don't Write Someone Else's Truth + Other Unhelpful Assumptions
Buckle your seat belt. India + Erica reflect on an experience that happened a year ago, but the energy behind their conversation feels hot off the press. They were in the audience of a panel discussion of four noteworthy women who were asked a leading question, a question that was full of assumptions and preconceived notions, a question that was so loaded the energy in the room changed.
Erica + India open up the flood gates about why presumptive questions are dangerous and how, while the asker may mean well, the harm from such questions, while it may not be readily apparent, could have deeply negative ramifications for all involved.
Are you ready to listen in? What’s Happening In This Episode
[0:02:16] Erica and India reflect on a panel discussion the witnessed where an inappropriate question was asked.
[0:06:11] How to recognize a loaded question.
[0:09:28] Implying that accomplishments stem from a support system is diminishing of someone’s power
[0:10:04] Why assuming truths about others is dangerous and could be shame-triggering
[0:13:42] Even those who think they’re upholding feminist ideals may be part of the problem
[0:15:06] There’s still a lot of work that needs to be done in the women’s power movement
[0:17:15] How to respond to loaded questions
[0:18:58] On shame and owning feelings and speaking truth
[0:23:43] Question and check your pre-conceived notions
WHAT’S ONE ACTION YOU CAN TAKE AWAY FROM THE DISCUSSION?
Question and check your preconceived notions.
QUOTES
“Women that are expecting other women to fit into society’s perfect little box...are actually harming other women. No matter how much you think you’re part of women-centric type events...you are part of the f**king problem.” – India
“A very easy fix is to ask more open-ended questions without your f**king biases on it.” – India
“When you are making a statement or asking a question, I do think that it is important to make sure that you are not putting your perceptions or your preconceived notions, your ideas of normal, your idea of what just happened...on somebody else because you are essentially trying to write somebody’s story because this is what you think is the most applicable story for them in this situation.” – Erica
“Women have enough trouble, as a collective whole, being able to own and write our own narratives. We don’t need to be the perpetrators of taking away that benefit any more than is already being done.” – Erica
“You cannot police other people’s feelings...Am I being mean, or am I being honest?” – Erica
“You can mean well and cause harm. It happens every day.” – India
“Give people the power and autonomy to write and tell their own story.” -- Erica