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51. Don't Let Fear Define You with Emily Souder

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Fear comes in many forms and can serve an important function in our lives. Feelings of fear can help keep us safe and alert us to dangers. But fear can also be irrational or not in proportion to the risk at hand. Emily Souder, licensed therapist, coach, Reiki Master, and author joins Erica for a conversation about being productive and living according to values in spite of fear. Emily shares why stuffing down fear is never productive, why we need to acknowledge fears and address fear stories head-on.

Some of Emily’s work is with expectant mothers, and she draws parallels between birthing children and birthing a business or a book. The fears mothers, business owners, and authors face are actually very similar, and the remedy to move past those fears is the same.

Finally, Emily shares about her book, Sparks: Inspiration for Extinguishing the Power of Fear and Igniting Amusement, Knowing, and Trust. This is a conversation — scary pandemic or not — you don’t want to miss.

Are you ready to listen in? What’s Happening In This Episode

  • [0:05:32] Emily’s self-introduction

  • [0:06:40] How Emily and Erica met

  • [0:09:56] Navigating the fear voices

  • [0:11:20] Our fight or flight tendencies, how they’ve evolved, and how we can practice dealing with them

  • [0:14:56] Physical responses to psychological situations

  • [0:18:03] Fear voices and how they relate to our work

  • [0:22:50] The negativity bias and how it can impact our day-to-day choices

  • [0:24:11] How Emily was able to take action and live by her values in spite of her fears

  • [0:26:15] How starting a business or writing a book is like birthing a child

  • [0:31:26] On defining success on your terms

  • [0:32:40] On fear and finding amusement in those fears

  • [0:35:58] About Emily’s book Sparks


“Take the fear blinders off and see the fact that you have choices. The fear isn’t speaking your truth.” — emily

QUOTES

“Sometimes the need for [a difficult conversation] to happen outweighs the discomfort.” — Emily

“That physiological response is there to tell you something. It’s often that it’s not paid attention to, which is why it’s persistent, and it keeps happening. ‘Why do my shoulders always hurt?’” — Erica

“It takes practice. You don’t get here overnight. Practice over and over again bringing yourself back to being aware.” — Emily

“It doesn’t work to shove it down…That’s just avoiding those unpleasant, uncomfortable emotions that we all have. We don’t have to ignore them. Acknowledge them. Detach from them a little bit and realize it’s just a fear story or fear voice.” — Emily

“Show up and give it a try, because we get another chance. With most things, anyway, we get another chance.” — Emily

Resources

HoneyBook — get 50% off the great solution for all your back office needs

Emily’s Therapy website

Emily’s Coaching and Reiki site

Sparks by Emily Souder

Emily on Instagram as @nesting_space and as @emilysouderlscwc

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