A lot is lost when your team doesn’t spend time together that isn’t around a fire.

When you’re building company culture, you have to work to ensure that your culture isn’t only focused on when things go wrong or when things need to be fixed. 

Not enough teams spend time connecting, human to human, over shared values and interests.

Ask yourself, are you really seeking to build a company culture that is only based on when things are terrible? Or are you seeking to build company culture that thrives when things are good? 

In this article:

• What trauma bonding is and how it impacts company culture

• Why adrenaline-fueled moments don’t have to be a bad thing

• How to ask your team about their values to facilitate connection

• How values-based bonds improve employee retention 

This article is based on a Pause On The Play podcast episode called African-American Vernacular - What's Good English with E.K. Powell

Keep the dialogue going:

Concepts are better explored in community. Actions are more lasting when taken alongside other imperfect allies. Connect with a cohort of entrepreneurs and changemakers at the intersection of values and visibility. 

Join us at pauseontheplay.com/community

Learn more about the Implicit to Explicit: Leading Through Your Values Masterclass

This article is based on a Pause On The Play podcast episode called Creating Company Culture Based on Connection and Possibility

What is trauma bonding?

In its simple terms, “trauma bonding is when you are literally bonding with others over traumatic experiences,” India says.

While the concept is frequently used in the context of personal relationships, in the workplace that may look like connecting over the client everyone dreads, the boss no one likes, impossible sales goals, or other shared negative experiences. 

Erica adds that “trauma bonding is essentially connecting over some type of negative stimulus,” and the risk of having that be the primary mode of connection is that “when my adrenaline is rushing, I'm so connected to you. And the minute it's not, I don't know how to respond to you.”

India also notes that the reliance on adrenaline-fueled situations to bond, when that stimulus is gone, team members may replay past negative experiences to achieve that kind of connection.

“And if you're not careful can very quickly go from, here was one bad...stimulus...to now we have an entire culture that revolves around negative energy.”

India then adds that adrenaline-filled moments don’t always have to be a negative thing, and asks you to consider “are you having events together, virtually or in person, where you're getting everybody amped up in a positive way, where you're reminding people of their why, where they're able to bond over something amazingly great?”

How Do You Bring a Team Together?

Erica recommends asking your team if there is anything they connect over outside of work and paying attention to what happens when you ask that question, and give people the opportunity to be individuals and connect over something outside of a task or a job title.

Taking these opportunities to bring your team together can seem challenging for an online business, but it can be as simple as bringing everyone together virtually for something that gets them excited. But you have to choose that activity intentionally, she cautions, “you have to know who your people are and what matters to them and why it matters and what they value.”

Erica agrees that focusing on your team’s values as people, not just as the company, can be a powerful way to bond. 

“We've so often had people have an enhancement in their bond by taking that time to talk about values with us, because we're not just talking about values from a perspective of this is where you work and what are the values here? Like no, what matters to you?”

Connecting with your team about their values builds trust across teams and also between teams and leadership.

India says that if anyone she worked for in her early career had asked her about her values, it would have made her much more likely to stay in that position, because she would have felt like she mattered as a person and was part of a team.

These values questions don’t have to be complicated. India remembers a training she was a part of where participants were asked what their long-term vision for their lives was, even if it was outside of the company they worked for. 

She also recommends asking people questions about animals or the environment as ways to get people in the group to get to know each other better and connect over shared interests and passions.

When people “know what they have in common and what matters to them...they have lifelong friendships that have been made, which means they're less likely to leave your company.”

Erica adds that in our current moment, current and potential employees, “have a whole lot more choice. And how are you making your place a place that they choose to be?”

Taking time to figure out what your team’s values are–and your team includes not just your employees, but contractors, agencies, and other partners–saves you time, money and stress by increasing your ability to retain incredible people. 

Connecting doesn’t have to be complicated or involve generic team-building activities. Start asking questions, human to human, and watch your team bond over their values, interests, and joy.

Keep The Dialogue Going

Concepts are better explored in community. Actions are more lasting when taken alongside other imperfect allies. Connect with a cohort of entrepreneurs and changemakers at the intersection of values and visibility. 

Join us at pauseontheplay.com/community

Learn more about the Implicit to Explicit: Leading Through Your Values Masterclass